bananas

This photograph of bananas is by Irving Penn for the August 2009 issue of Vogue.

I thought of it because I did a fruit fast for the last two days as part of the 40 days to Personal Revolution thing I am doing right now.  It is a program designed by Baron Baptiste, the yoga instructor, and I am doing it under the guidance of Marie Friedlander, my amazing yoga instructor at Yoga Shakti in Irvine.  The program involves committing to doing yoga and meditation every day for 40 days, engaging in self reflection questions each week, and paying attention to diet.  I was skeptical about the fruit fast (eating nothing but fruit for 3 days) and in truth, I didn't enjoy it very much.  I ended a day early, although I noticed that my insides felt strangely cool and clean while I was doing it.  I think the whole endeavor is pushing me to some kind of extreme edge, and I am feel like I am going to somehow collapse or surrender in a larger way because of it- like, finally give up the idea that I should be anyone or doing anything else than who I am and what I am doing right now.  That seems like a good thing, although it is strange that is takes so much to get me to this point.

I find this photograph fascinating as well as beautiful.  I remember reading about Irving Penn's creative process- he is a complete perfectionist and would hunt through hundreds of bananas for just the right ones, then do lots of work to create just the right slices and piles, etc etc.  This is interesting to me because my creative process is often spontaneous and somewhat haphazard.  I like to produce things quickly, with what I find around.  The process of writing my dissertation feels much more grueling than this kind of spontaneous creativity that I like, so I have been thinking a lot about discipline and creativity and how to marry those two things together in a way that retains my unique process and point of view.  Thinking about the discipline and dedication that went into creating this gorgeous photo gives me some inspiration to keep thinking, tinkering, playing, and arranging in a curious but focused way.  

First Post

I am starting this blog to find out who is looking out through my eyes.  This will be my place to collect and catalog the things that touch me as I move through my life.  I have no goal or structure other than to warm myself by gathering, examining, manipulating in one way or another, and generally delighting in things that I find beautiful and compelling.  It will be a place to expand rather than condense, although over time I expect some recurrent themes will emerge.

I live in Irvine, California.  I didn't like it here for a long time.  I spent a lot of energy hating it.  I am in graduate school and I will be leaving anyway, so it is a temporary home.  Then at some point I started seeing Orange County differently.  I started seeing all of these little details, and I started hunting for things I liked, and then more and more tiny pockets of awesomeness emerged.  I have even found myself enjoying the suburban structure of Irvine- it is so clean and ordered, which makes it interesting to look at in and of itself, but maybe even more interesting is taking opportunities to do unexpected things in this environment, and finding places where the placid suburban landscape is just begging to be played with.

These pictures are from Turtle Rock Park in Irvine.  There is a stream which on a warm day is the perfect place to play, and also a little nature park.  People look at us like we are crazy splashing around in the stream.  I guess we look kinda like hillbillies, two sometimes naked little kids and me playing with sticks and dead crayfish and whatever else is on hand that day.  Usually when we play in it other little kids come over and want to get in too and their parents give me dirty looks and won't let their kids take their shoes off.  But I seriously don't know how you could not look at this stream and immediately think of getting in it.  In the late afternoon the sunlight filters through the trees that grow on the banks and it looks really pretty.